"Treat" of the Week

This week's treat is brought to you by clients who refuse to adhere to the correct way of paddling an inflatable raft as pictured above.  The common language that is used for new/veteran clients is that you are to “Point your nose where you don’t want to go, and row away from trouble.”  As a general rule we do not let any of the clients go downstream until they can correctly demonstrate this skill prior to moving into water with a changing current. 

Dalton enjoying the Alaska scenery!

Generally the only time that the rafts are used is when we venture on the three day two night trip down the entire Copper River or when Bob drops us off to fish the Gibraltar River.  Both rivers are very navigable however if you do not follow the “Point your nose where you don’t want to go, and row away from trouble” you could be put in potentially “wet” situations.

“Wet” situations are usually very hard to have happen on the stream.  No I’m not talking about a previous treat of the week where an unnamed fisherman cleared their septic system.   This wet situation occurs through constant persistence and thorough failure to follow the only rule of rafting. If an individual chooses to disregard this rule they can flip their boat and resemble a slow motion scene liken to the titanic sinking. 

Brian and I were on a trip together with a few guys and we were literally turning around one of the last “S’s” of the Gibraltar and wouldn’t you know it Sammy Rowsalot does the patented “Oh CRAP, I’m going to hit that tree, lets try to row downstream and point my nose away from where I want to avoid.” Well Sammy, it was a good thought except the current continues to take you downstream...And your downstream strokes will actually propel yourself downstream at a faster rate.  Regardless Sammy slingshots himself into a sequence of overhanging trees and rolls himself and his boat like a beached whale would while attempting to get back on top of a inflatable tube in Ocean City.    

Or I think back when a real life “Yoda,” literally a man trapped inside a body of wrinkles, was about to drop into his raft without Brian or I holding the raft down for him (To steady his boat, so he didn’t do what we all hope he’d do).  Brian and I told Master Yoda to wait to get into his boat until we helped him steady his raft.  Next thing you know it we are packing up the final items from camp and we hear a huge splash and only see a hat floating downstream.  It’s still amazing to think about.     

As a guide you can generally react in two ways.  At first you bite your lip as hard as you can and make sure that the safety of everyone involved is okay (I think that’s enough safety talk, it’s our treat of the week).  Then you pick the next opportune time to shoot that look at your fellow guide, who is hopefully with you, and try to make the other one laugh out loud using a hand motion or something like it.  It’s like having your own personal vault of “America’s Funniest Home Videos” on loop nonstop for the remainder of the day/week.    

If you are not lucky enough to have someone with you, your mental cinematography better be recording in BlueRay because it will probably be retold hundreds of times to your fisherman friends. Moral of the story “Point your nose where you don’t want to go, and row away from trouble.”  Or you could refuse and be an amazing story for a friend or guide that you are fishing with!